why i hate optus

let me tell you why i hate optus

1. i signed up for their internet. took forever to set up. and the promised modem never showed up.

2. they upgraded my internet without even informing me.

3. because they didnt inform me, i wasted like at least 5 hrs trying to get it fixed. and was very handicapped for a few days.

4. the retards working there dont even know that my internet connection is changed.

5. the so called technicians, they cant do shit. all they ever tell u to do is really simple stuff that i already know how to do. and they t-a-k-e f-o-r-e-v-e-r t-o t-e-l-l y-o-u w-h-a-t t-o d-o.
e.g.

technician: now go to your desktop (like yeah duh?)
...
technician: are you there yet?
me: yes (like its freaking there u idiot)
technician: ok...now go to "run"
me: mmm...
technician: are you there yet?
me: yes
technician: now type c for charlie.
*i type*
*10 seconds pause*
me: ....
*another 10 seconds pause*
technician: have you done it? (like OMGWTFBBQ?!?!?!?! im not an idiot!!!)
me: yesssss
technician: now type m for mary
me: yup (knowing that the retard is gonna wait till i say something b4 he/she continues)
technician: and now type d for donkey (yes u r a freaking donkey)
me: uh huh
technician: now press enter
me: uh huh
technician: you should now see a black box
me: uh huh
technician: now....type....

and he goes on forever. no wonder im always on the phone with them for at least freaking 1 hr.

6. after that 1 hr (or more) THE PROBLEM IS STILL NOT SOLVED

7. when they upgraded my internet i was supposed to get 2 complementary filters. it was suppose to come b4 they upgraded it. its been almost a month already since it was upgraded. still no sign of it coming.

8. i have to wait for 3 days before they actually tell me that my connection has been upgraded. thank you you lazy pigs.

9. the day my internet connection is activated. supposedly. but i need to freaking call them up to get it working. AT LEAST they worked it out.

10. they freaking disconnect my internet like 2 weeks in. call them up and ONCE AGAIN problem not solved after an hour on the phone. and the lady (i'll be nice and not call her a biatch) said she'll call me back on my hp because she wanted me to try something which required me unplugging my house phone line. i waited for more than 1/2 hr. never got the call. when i tried to call back, i had to wait for the technicians to be available. no way im waiting for u idiots.

11. they sent me a bill. i paid it. the very next day, they direct debit from my account.

now im looking for a phone that is capable of recording conversations so that i will have a copy of me unleashing my fury on the poor martherfarker that is going to attend to my call. you poor soul. serves you right for working for that shit company.

Cool math trick..

But who still ever uses manual calculation after high school...



Anyway sorry for the lack of posts here... getting my own blog up at www.joeyong.net and the exams.. so maybe in 2 days :D

Powered by ScribeFire.

Pikachu is female?

hmmm .. people going in to pikachu's ahemm....

Sensitivity Training

life saving condom

not only does condoms helps in not getting a girl pregnant, it can also save your sorry ass for being abandoned on some random island
so this is what you got to do.

1. take off ur pants (better be long pants)

2. blow those condoms up (as shown) and tie it properly. you dont want it to leaking. if you still havent noticed, u need a few of them.

3. stuff those blown up condoms in your pants. almost there...

4. now put it around your neck and tie it up.

5. there you go! your very own condom saving...uhm....whatever you want to call it. the point is that you wont be drowning :D

Yatta!

for those who haven't seen it yet... catchy tune!

be handsome, attractive and not unattractive

song for the perfect girlfriend :P

Song For The Perfect Girlfriend - Watch more free videos

=P

Phone up your bum (ashley cole)

for all arsenal fan out there!:P

In and out the elevator

I realised how Malaysia-internet-user-unfriendly we are with all these videos and shit. Therefore i shall rant!

Ever tried getting out of and elevator and theres like somebody there to "greet" you by forcing his/her way in? And that person doesn't even say sorry for being in your way and instead reckons that you should have got out of his way because he wants to go in? What the hell?!?!?!?!?!

I've been living in apartments for....a really long time now....and I see this shit almost every other day. Well unless I stay home for the whole week or I go out at very weird hours of the day. But anyway thats not the point. FREAKING LET SOMEONE OUT OF THE ELEVATOR BEFORE U FREAKING TRY TO GET IN!!!! ITS NOT LIKE WAITING A FEW SECONDS GONNA CAUSE YOU TO MISS ANYTHING!!! WHAT? YOU WANNA RUSH HOME TO WATCH YOUR FREAKING PORN?!?!?!?!?! THAT CAN WAIT DUDE....ITS JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS DELAY DARN IT!

Oh this applies to public transport as well. Yup. Retards all over the place.

Brownie

Pro Crowd

check out the football fans from south korea...yes they are human....not a screen...people

Firefox tips!

Recently i switched to firefox completely, cause IE was being a bitch. So to share some cool stuff in firefox

First off, download firefox for windows

or download firefox for mac

or download firefox for linux

 

Themes

I'll start with theme for firefox especially if you were IE7 user and want to switch.

There are 2 themes you would like to try

Very similar to IE7

Slightly similar to IE7

 

Keyword feature

The other thing about Firefox is the keyword feature which enables you to quickly search from a search engine with just the keyword.

Lets do a Google.com example

To do this go to Google.com. Put your mouse over the text box for the search. Right click and click add keyword for this search.. Enter Google for the name and maybe enter g as the keyword. Done!

now you can go to the address bar and type "g candy bar" and it will search Google for candy bar.

 

You can speed up firefox (theoretically)

To do this type "about:config" in the address bar. A list of settings will appear. in the search bar type "pipe" . There will be 3 settings there

• Set “network.http.pipelining” to “true”
• Set “network.http.proxy.pipelining” to “true”
• Set “network.http.pipelining.maxrequests” to a number like 30. This will allow it to make 30 requests at once.

you can also right-click anywhere and select New-> Integer. Name it “nglayout.initialpaint.delay” and set its value to “0″. This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it receives.

 

Limit RAM usage

If Firefox takes up too much memory on your computer, you can limit the amount of RAM it is allowed to us. Again, go to about:config, filter “browser.cache” and select “browser.cache.disk.capacity”. It’s set to 50000, but you can lower it, depending on how much memory you have. Try 15000 if you have between 512MB and 1GB ram.

 

Reduce RAM usage further for when Firefox is minimized. This setting will move Firefox to your hard drive when you minimize it, taking up much less memory. And there is no noticeable difference in speed when you restore Firefox, so it’s definitely worth a go. Again, go to about:config, right-click anywhere and select New-> Boolean. Name it “config.trim_on_minimize” and set it to TRUE. You have to restart Firefox for these settings to take effect.

Telemarketer got Owned!

i hate telemarketers more than spam! and i hate spam

PES2008 vs FIFA08 for PC

Please do not buy FIFA08 for current-gen console + PC .... it sucks. they used the same bloody engine for 3 versions of FIFA and don't bother changing it. FIFA08 is basically just a patched version of FIFA07 so if you have one stick with it. You will be able to get unofficial updates for the updated squad for 2007-08 season from various web sites. They went to next-gen console and left us PC gamers play with a piece of shit software. The worst thing is that FIFA08 is worst than FIFA07 the game play is laggy, the menus are sluggish and loading takes forever. They screwed up the controls, the previous controls were just right for the PC but they had to go and fucked it up just because they don't want to change a small bit of code that was meant for the PS2.And don't buy FIFA08 cause of the be-a-pro mode cause it is ultimately boring. This goes for all the current-gen console such as the PS2. I haven't tried the FIFA08 on the PS3 so i have nothing to say about it

 

I was amazed by PES(pro evolution soccer)2008 - sort of winning eleven 11. Anyway they are not releasing it as winning eleven anymore apparently. I just downloaded the demo for PES 2008 (1.1GB download) and its great. The graphics was such a step up from the last version. The interface is speedy and loading is quick. I am a PES fan now!!!

 

Hope nobody buys FIFA08 at least for PC and PS2. screw you EA Sports..  all PC FIFA players please move to PES08 or stick with FIFA07.. don't let them steal your hard earned cash!!!

 

WINNER BY A LONG STRETCH PES 2008!!!

Magic!!

ok 1st 1 is just stupid. haha owned!

 

 

 

this one is just amazing

 

 

Bloody dominos!!!!

Ok. time to rant about dominos..... ShoeW and I was going down to have lunch. we haven't decided where to eat I popped my mailbox and there was a dominos coupon. Looks like a good deal.

So off we went to the closest dominos outlet. we reached there the cashier said its not valid there.. WTH!!!!.... he points to the fine print and that said available in selected outlet only.. and they were not one of them.

That's bloody bullshit.. 1st thing is.. that's the closest dominos in my area.. and 2nd they did not write which was the selected outlet.. I think I should not farking go to dominos anymore.. shit heads.. and its the bloody outlet in near Lygon street.. i should have went to one of those italian places.. the farking manager should just go burn in hell.... :S...

thats all...!!!

SO what's hot in the box with the dots???

A fresh piece of shit!!!!

HAHAHHAA you PIZ ZA SHIT

Who pays!

This always happens in Malaysia.. oMG.. fighting to pay the bill.... but us.. its the opposite .. fighting not to pay the bill..... whichever it is.. ermm if you don't mind not eating with the person again ... do this!

 

Just pull out the piece and you will definitely get to pay. Well you practically can get them to do anything... Hmm... is pulling a gun on someone against the law? even if you have no intention of killing them?or you do but you say you don't...

Chelshit F.C. (again)

yes again because joo is gay for deleting my post (i know he secretly supports chelshit altho he always says he supports arse-anal) and also because i still dont like chelsea.
found all these pics in this group called "chelshit f.c." in facebook

mourinho will still be in our thoughts....and this blog....with his gayass pose :D even tho he got sacked already

fat lampard. eating too much pies eh chubby boy?


and then finally...Man Utd ftw! (ftw is not reversed for wtf...its "for the win")

Blog is ok!

Sorry to the few ppl that visit ourdistractions.com the problem with mozilla browser has been dealt with.. thanks for giving feedback :D. And.. hopefully it wont happen again.. when it does just msg on the chat .. again sorry all for the mess up..

WHAT THE PANDA..

Hmm... somebody spray painted a panda that look similar to the hello panda biscuit (picture below) on the curb in front of my apartment building.... O.o .. wth!?

There... do u see it.... was using my camera phone.. cant zoom in.. but ya.. u get the picture.. ..

The ultimate guide to Rock,paper, sissors and more

But somehow i doubt this will catch on unless suddenly everyone had a very very good memory..

A Real Arse Hole

source

Girl Bites Off Boyfriends Lip When Kissing

24 year-old Wei has a very loving girlfriend… Maybe too loving.
When Wei went to see his girlfriend recently they began to kiss. She apparently got so excited that she accidentally bit off Wei’s lower lip. Bit off to the extent that the bottom lip was actually still hanging in her mouth.

Wei was rushed to a hospital in the Chongqin area of China, but the tissue from his mouth was already dead. The doctor was forced to use tissue from other parts of his body to fix his lower lip.

As strange as this story is, it is not the first time Wei’s girlfriend has taken to biting him. It seems whenever she gets excited, biting and hurting Wei is the only way she can be satisfied.
“My girlfriend’s zodiac sign must be a dog”, Wei jokes… while the doctor seems to suggest it might be something psychological with the girl.

source: (新华网) via weirdnewsasia


Hmmm.... lucky its not his little brother..

Paypal pishing

All paypal users be warned. Don't be fooled.. this email from Paylal.

I almost got.. damn!!!.....

never use the links in any email. Spend some time and type it out. Especially when there's money or sensitive material involved. And if you absolutely have to click the link please read the address and if you see anything weird about the page don't use it.

And if you use a paypal account get the paypal security key... US$5.00 or AU$7.50. This provides a double lock to your paypal and ebay account. http://www.paypal.com/securitykey

That's all for SECURITY THIS WEEK....

Longest email ever

Everybody wants the shortest email nowadays.. so why not join the minority and go for the longest!!!... You can get yourname@abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijk.com (yes, i had to cut and paste that)

OR.. maybe a longer 1? like abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz@abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijk.com (tried to register that.. but taken too bad)

And the price for the longest email address in the world??? FREEE!!.. for the 25mb mailbox that will be filled with spam very soon... Well at least you can rest assured that the spammer has a hard time spamming you. and if someone asks for your email and you don't like them very much give them this email address in pen and paper so that they'll have to type it :D

This is on the main page.... (edited by me)

New Account Signup

Sign up for the world's longest alphabetical email address now and surprise irritate your friends, coworkers, and your affiliates with the extraordinary long email address you will not be using for FREE! Each FREE ad plagued mailbox account comes with 25MB of storage capacity, which is a lot more less than what is offered by most all free email providers. This can allow you to store over 250,000 email messages spam. Click on the link below to proceed onto the signup page.

If you are still interested.... LINK

This must be the most words I've put together since the start!

Gay Incest brothers..:S

What has the world come to... :S

Text jokes!

Yeah.. i know some of you now are sick of the videos we keep posting.. videos videos and more videos.. so now for some good'ol text jokes.

Bullshit

A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided. You will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year.". The young man said, "You're bullshitting me, man!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"

McGregor

THE SETTING: A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that sretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention.

"But ya fuck one goat . . . "

One liners

Q: What similarities are there in a condom and a casket?

A: You come in one and leave in the other, and they both hold stiffs.

Q: How many men does it take to mop the floor?

A: None, it's a women's job

40 more years to live

This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above "You will live to be 100." She looked around and didn't see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100." Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I've got 40 more years to live! So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe. When she left the plastic surgeon's office, she got hit by a bus,died, and went up to heaven. She said to God "You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?". God said: "I didn't recognize you".

optical illusions

Cool Optical Illusions - Watch more free videos

sickkkk

Rollerblades PRO

Amazing Freestyle Slalom On Rollerblades - Watch more free videos

yeah japanese again...

Djokovic doing impression of other tennis players

Well those who dont know who he is...

Novak Đoković , commonly spelt Djokovic in English media), is a Serbian tennis player who turned professional in 2003. His major achievements have come in 2007, where he was the runner-up at the US Open and reached three Masters Series finals, winning in Miami and Montreal. Also, he reached the semifinals at French Open and Wimbledon. His highest ranking on the ATP Tour is World No. 3, which he reached July 9, 2007.

What you can get with US$11,610.00

Its 3.16am .. and i am really bored... so i went to alienware's website and customized the most expensive pc i can build..

[1] Area-51® ALX Alienware P2 Chassis: Alienware® P2 ALX Chassis with
AlienIce™ 3.0 Video Cooling - Saucer Silver Chassis Customization : Alienware®
Standard System Lighting - Astral Blue High-Performance Liquid Cooling:
Alienware® ALX High-Performance Graphics and Processor Liquid Cooling Acoustic
Dampening: Alienware® Acoustic Dampening Graphics

Processor: Dual 768MB NVIDIA®
GeForce™ 8800 Ultra - SLI Enabled - Liquid Cooled! Processor: Intel® Core™ 2
Extreme QX6850 3.0GHz 8MB Cache 1333MHz FSB - Overclocked to 3.33GHz!Includes Liquid Cooling!

Memory: 4GB Low Latency DDR2 Performance SDRAM at 800MHz - 4 x
1024MB

Motherboard: Alienware® Approved NVIDIA nForce 680i SLI Motherboard

Operating System (Office software not included): Genuine Windows Vista™ Ultimate Desktop Tuners and Remotes: With Media Center Remote
Control and Digital/Analog Combo TV Tuner System

Drive: Extreme Performance
(RAID 0) - 2TB (2 x 1TB) Serial ATA 3Gb/s 7,200 RPM w/ 2 x 32MB Cache

Drive: Additional Storage Drive - 2TB (2 x 1TB) Serial ATA 3Gb/s 7,200 RPM w/
32MB Cache

Primary CD ROM/DVD ROM: 4X Dual Layer Blu-Ray/DVD±RW/CD-RW Burner
Blank Media: 25GB Write Once Blu-ray Disc (4X Maximum) Secondary CD

ROM/DVD ROM: 20X Dual Layer DVD±RW/CD-RW Burner Enthusiast Essentials: Killer K1 Gaming

Network Interface Card - Smoother Online Gaming! - More
Info

Physics Processing Unit: Ageia PhysX PCI-Express Processing Unit w/
128MB GDDR3 - More Info

Sound Card: High-Definition 7.1 Performance Audio

Power Supply: Alienware® 1000 Watt Multi-GPU Approved Power Supply

Monitor: 30'' Dell 2560 x 1600 UltraSharp Widescreen Flat Panel

Speakers: Logitech® Z-5300e 5.1 280-Watt Speakers

Keyboard: Logitech® G15 Gaming Keyboard

Mouse : Logitech® G5 Laser Gaming Mouse

Exclusive ALX Extras: AlienInspection - Exclusive Integration and Inspection - $100 Value - FREE! Exclusive

ALX Extras: AlienWiring - Exclusive Internal Wire Management - $100 Value - FREE!

Exclusive ALX Extras: Exclusive Alienware® ALX Items Exclusive ALX Extras: Alienware® ALX Mousepad

Exclusive ALX Extras: Alienware® Mesh Cap Warranty: 3-Year AlienCare Toll-Free 24/7 Phone Support with Onsite Service

AlienRespawn: AlienRespawn v2.0 Recovery DVD – Windows Vista Edition Security Software: Norton™ Internet Security™ 2007

Microsoft Office Suites: Microsoft® Office 2007 Professional - Factory Installed!Includes Small Business + Access!

Power: UPS Protection - Opti-UPS PS1500B (1050W Capacity)

Headphones: Alienware® Ozma 7™ Headphones with S-Logic™
Technology

well i didnt go overboard with the software.. just basic stuff that u'll need like vista, norton and office plus the 3 year warrenty. Basically it has 3.33Ghz quad core processor, 4GB of ram, 4TB of disc space (4000GB), 2 x Geforce 8800 ultra, a Physics processing card, a bluray burner, a dvd burner, 5.1 surround sound, 30 inch monitor, G15 keyboard and G5 mouse.... awesome!!

and all that costs a grand total of US$11610.00 (wondered if anybody has one?)

dang.. i could buy a car with that... o.O

How to lose your balls

ever thought of getting rid of one of maybe both your testicles?


How To Lose A Testicle - Watch more free videos

works like magic

Gregorius: NMKY (Finnish YMCA cover)

LoL.. bloody gay!

OMGWTFBBQ .. tetris..

The begining is fast... but pull to like the last quater.. and watch from there.... at the end the guy plays invisible tetris as the credits are scrolling..

and how to get rid of news reporters

so a local news team confronts a man who is accused of assaulting his 79 year old mother and he does this...


What I Think of TV News - Watch more free videos

more dumb blondes

She Gives Blondes A Bad Rep - Watch more free videos

How to buy the perfect present

Dirty jokes (NSFW)

A rabbit and a bear went to take a crap in the jungle.
the bear then sez to the rabbit "to you have a problem where when u take a crap it sticks to your fur?"
The rabbit says "No"
The bear then took the rabbit and wipes his arse. :P

------------------------------------------------------

A man gave 2 asprins and a glass of water to his wife.
She says "whats this for? i dont have a headache"
He says "good.. then lets F***"

-----------------------------------------------------

A man went to a whore house with only 2 dollars
The owner says " thats ok. Go up to the room there we have a dead hooker"
Then the guy went and when he finished he came down.
The owner asked "how was it?"
The guy replied " it was good. The only problem is her nose kept running"
Owner replied " ahh. shes must be full"

---------------------------------------------------

There was a girl without legs on the beach. and she was crying
a guy came along and asked her " why are u crying?"
she says " all my life i have never been kissed"
so the guy kneels down and gave her a kiss.
the girl then cried twice as hard.
the guy said " wats it now?"
she says " all my life i have never been f***ed
the guy picks her up...........
and threw her in to the sea..
he says " well you're f***ed now..!!"

World smallest website!

http://www.guimp.com/

amazingly small.. and theres games in there.. :P

if you cant find it

asteroids - http://www.guimp.com/asteroids.html
pacman - http://www.guimp.com/pacman.html

Leave it to the pros.. ! :P

Do not try this at home!


Pole Dancing Fight Class - Watch the top videos of the week here

strong condom

Cold lake.. what it will do to your man parts..

Guys messure for temperature. Punt intended..

ultra realistic CG

Ubisoft free ad-supported games!

Hey!!.. why spend money on games when you can just download them.. watch a few ads.. and go legal!! hahah

rayman-raving rabbids
farcry
prince of persia- sands of time

all these are ad supported.. well better get them while they still there... awesome games at least farcry is! :D..

Google Earth hidden feature

Press Alt+Ctrl+A in google earth main window. :D

Btw.. this only works with the latest google earth.. if you go to view/switch to sky
u'll get google sky..

controls are here

http://earth.google.com/intl/en/userguide/v4/flightsim/index.html

comparison to the previous post

Best golf shoT!

What the.....?

Pocket Queens, kings, aces, fives, sevens in one hand..!
what are the odds!...

Ole!

so Ole has retired...(and i know joo wont really like this) but he is for sure a legend! (at least for man u fans ;p)

who can forget the 4 goals in 10 mins as a sub game?


and of coz the super last minute goal against Bayern in the champions league finals?

i remember i was jumping like some crazy kid...luckily my parents didnt wake up :D

Whoops.....

dumb blond myth proven agaiN!

Trakstor ibeat blaxx

LoLx.. what a name... ibeat blaxx..... this aint gonna go down well...
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if u still dont get it.... ( i Beat blacks)...

Tech Jokes

Bill Gates And God
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself.
Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important.

God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most.

Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important.

God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly.

God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?"

Bill responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".



Hardware vs. Software
Once upon a time, in an absolute monarchy not far from here, a king summoned two of his advisors for a test. He showed them both a shiny metal box with two slots in the top, a control knob, and a lever. "What do you think this is?"
One advisor, an electrical engineer, answered first. "It is a toaster."
The king asked, "How would you design an embedded computer for it?"
The engineer replied, "Using a four-bit microcontroller, I would write a simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantizes its position to one of 16 shades of darkness, from snow white to coal black. The program would use that darkness level as the index to a 16-element table of initial timer values. Then it would turn on the heating elements and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table. At the end of the time delay, it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast. Wait 'til next week, and I'll show you a working prototype."
The second advisor, a computer scientist, immediately recognized the danger of such short-sighted thinking. He said, "Toasters don't just turn bread into toast, they are also used to warm frozen waffles. What you see before you is really a breakfast food cooker. As the subjects of your kingdom become more sophisticated, they will demand more capabilities. They will need a breakfast food cooker that can also cook sausage, fry bacon, and make scrambled eggs. A toaster that only makes toast will soon be obsolete. If we don't look to the future, we will have to completely redesign the toaster in just a few years.
"With this in mind, we can formulate a more intelligent solution to the problem. First, create a class of breakfast foods. Specialize this class into subclasses: grains, pork, and poultry. The specialization process should be repeated with grains divided into toast, muffins, pancakes, and waffles; pork divided into sausage, links, and bacon; and poultry divided into scrambled eggs, hard-boiled eggs, poached eggs, fried eggs, and various omelet classes.
"The ham-and-cheese omelet class is worth special attention because it must inherit characteristics from the pork, dairy, and poultry classes. Thus, we see that the problem cannot be properly solved without multiple inheritance. At run time, the program must create the proper object and send a message to the object that says, 'Cook yourself.' The semantics of this message depend, of course, on the kind of object, so they have a different meaning to a piece of toast than to scrambled eggs.
"Reviewing the process so far, we see that the analysis phase has revealed that the primary requirement is to cook any kind of breakfast food. In the design phase, we have discovered some derived requirements. Specifically, we need an object-oriented language with multiple inheritance. Of course, users don't want the eggs to get cold while the bacon is frying, so concurrent processing is required, too.
"We must not forget the user interface. The lever that lowers the food lacks versatility, and the darkness knob is confusing. Would-be diners won't buy the product unless it has a user-friendly, graphical interface. When the breakfast cooker is plugged in, users should see a cowboy boot on the screen. Users click on it, and the message 'Booting UNIX v.8.3' appears on the screen. (UNIX 8.3 should be out by the time the product gets to the market.) Users can pull down a menu and click on the foods they want to cook.
"Having made the wise decision of specifying the software first in the design phase, all that remains is to pick an adequate hardware platform for the implementation phase. An Intel 80586 with 16MB of memory, a 1.2GB hard disk, and a SuperVGA monitor should be sufficient. If you select a multitasking, object oriented language that supports multiple inheritance and has a built-in GUI, writing the program will be a snap. (Imagine the difficulty we would have had if we had foolishly allowed a hardware-first design strategy to lock us into a four-bit microcontroller)."
The king wisely had the computer scientist beheaded, and the kingdom lived happily ever after.

Will Ferrell!!!

300 is gay!

Yet another japanese stunt...

Thats gotta hurT!...